SOMETHING or SOMEONE is conspiring against me. Really, I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy. Here's what I've done in the past week that leads me to this conclusion:
1. One week ago today, I lost my keys in Kohl's. I have a clear recollection of my keys being on the seat of the cart I was using. Then, after I checked out, they were gone. Not in purse, not in cart. I retraced my steps at least three times, looked under displays, asked the cashiers. No keys. They were in the store, then they weren't. John had to rent a Zipcar and bring me keys so I could pick up the kids...oh, and also so I could leave Kohl's and not have to live there. The keys have NEVER turned up.
2. Two days ago, I received a check in the mail. I was sitting in my car when I opened the envelope, removed the check, put it in my purse, went to the bank. No check. Not in purse, card, stack of mail, bank, driveway. As Lucy says when I ask her where something is, it's NOWHERE!
3. Last night I put some towels and jackets in the wash, including my orange parka. When I went to the dungeon to move items from wash to dryer, I heard a strange, suspicious clunking sound when I put my parka in the dryer. Hmmm. Open pocket, remove cell phone. It's really clean now. Also, it doesn't work.
I beg of you, do not entrust me with anything valuable. I fear for my children while they are in my care. I may lose them or break them, with this streak I'm on.
What in the name of all that is holy is happening?!?
P.S. Hey, I think I'll use that check I got in the mail to pay for the new cell...Never mind.